Find That One Thing: Depression Diaries


Some times it is really hard to shake off that feeling of emptiness and un-enthusiasm. Depression has shown me that if I dwell on the jaded thoughts, my brain will stay dizzy and directionless for days. Of-course, forcing yourself out of the negative thoughts is an impossible task. I personally feel, you really have to sit in the moment and face that emptiness, loneliness, messiness. If you don’t process the negativity, there is no way you’ll be able to conquer it. Seriously, you just can’t expect to put it back in the closet and pretend it doesn’t exist. Face the damn problem if you want to feel better.

I see depression as the opponent in the boxing ring. You have to get close enough to kiss your opponent’s ugly face when you announce how you are going to whoop its ass. This process is painful but there is a reason the brain has to detach from the outside world and just scream or cry or punch walls. Negative emotions create toxins that must find some release. I don’t see what the shame is in accepting that the brain must produce tears to reset your system. (It reminds me of the boiler and how you have to let the water out to re-pressure the system!)

Moments of anger, hate and pain remind me of the passion in my soul. All the expressed hurt helps me stabilise my brain, giving me a clear system to operate. A quieter brain, even in the throes of depression, is your friend. It might feel numb but if you feed it the right amount of positive emotion, it will lift you out of that momentary depression.

I have always been able to face my problems and quiet the brain down but finding something that feeds positivity to the brain is hard to come by. Sure, my conversations with my Mom help me a lot but sometimes it is 2 am on her side of the world and I can’t just ask her to come on FaceTime to motivate me out of my depressive webs.

Recently I have learnt that the stupidest, most trivial looking things can do a good job in lifting you out of depression. The only thing you have to concentrate on is how this activity/thing makes you feel. If it takes you out of your depressive state even for a few minutes, you have found treasure! For me it is cooking or the one thing I am far too embarrassed to admit- listening to Bollywood music! May be my depression is linked to home-sickness and even after these 8 years in the UK, I haven’t quite conquered my issues. The point is, your issue is your own, therefore your ONE thing would be just as unique as your issue.

So my solution for momentary (not clinical) depression is to find that ONE thing which distracts you for a few minutes. If you let that ONE thing take over by jumping into that different feeling it is creating within you, it gets so much easier to lift yourself out of depression. Before you know it, you’ll feel that odd sensation of Happy!

…and don’t forget your daily Vitamin D to help you fight depression! Like seriously!

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