Went through old notes from 2014-2015 on Evernote and came across a ton of random scribbled rhymes and fiction. Always amazing to find stuff I wrote when my brain was rhyming verses while dancing through dimensions. Its such a weird feeling, reading those words a few years down the line. Really hard to believe that they came from my mind. Creativity is definitely something that pulls you into a magical flow state. It is so hard to tap into but once there, physical reality shuts down and you become a different person. Fascinating read here on creative minds mimicking schizophrenia- “Creative people, like those with psychotic illnesses, tend to see the world differently to most. It’s like looking at a shattered mirror. They see the world in a fractured way“. I think art can feel like a journey into some other world or like you are viewing life through someone else’s eyes. It is amazing in how it helps in building a bridge or a direct communication line between our mortal selves and something unexplainable, out there and magnificent.
Shuffling through the pockets of my brain
I came across words incomplete
Words unsaid, words left over
Words wacky, words inspiring
Words turning into ammo
Words on a voyage into the unknown
Words, my only respite when life smacks me from me
My fractured imagination and this peace I find it in oddity.
1. Love is stronger than pride
Started with rage, frustration unheard
Shamed by ego, comprehension blurred
You would start, you would stop, stuck on repeat
I heard but you walked, always my defeat
I took a step behind, step to the side
But your finger always found my faults
How dare you always stood taller than my pride?
Seasons mulled and I settled on grief
Time spent living the results of your beliefs
“He humours your desperation with the brevity of his silence”
“Pin needles in that bastardly doll who lacks conscience”
Yes! Of-course! Lets all chime in “No man can break our stride”
But they never lived our camaraderie
Why did you steal my pride?
Years breathed on now I wear my Saturn
Zoning out voices, I broke all my patterns
I let go of the paper thin skin, prickly blood and bones
Left here now are prayers for you I speak into the unknown
Unspoken kindness is the reason our war dances failed to collide
We are all we’ve got
Love is stronger than pride.
I want you to be greater than my imagination
Grow bigger, leave behind your ordinary dreams
Breathe a life that fights out of the middle
Be the sun that I have seen
Lose yourself in the freedom of love
Find that space between despair and hope
Where faith in the unknown meets your soul
And insecurities no longer feel a curse
Let the light in, let it shine through the sun I have seen.
Blood drips from my fingers
But I see my flesh in their teeth
Demons of my own creation
Here now, ready to test my grit
Feels like I am living in some gruesome horror
But there is peace in watching that girl die
Seeing her absolved, clean of the guilt
Turned inside out, in a world outside in
All faces, places, forced to leave behind
Death of those autumn leaves, the death of her and me
Death of the ego I once called existence
Now its something hollow, something void, non existent
And now I fear no dark place, no empty space
I fear no distance, not even my reflection
I fear no silence, I fear no one
Today is the day fear will run for her life.
Life happens and I quit writing down my thoughts. Sometimes I think I pay the price of happiness with my words because when I’m happy, I have no desire to write.
There are hundreds of thousands of imaginary letters about the awe I feel toward life and love, that I want to fill with my words. I wish I was reminded everyday of all the words I am missing, the words that are hidden somewhere in the ethers, the words that will help me connect, create associations, to build more imaginary multi-verses. I need to find more words that got them feels.